Dillusional Ramblings of an Insane Girl.

06:19 pm - SQUEAL.

Just got back from wedding dress shopping.

The pros the cons:  Technically I was under budget, technically I'm over budget.
I know yesterday I said $200 for my dress. 

Well I did pay under that for the DRESS.
My dress itself was $99.

But with everything else (and tax added.  FUCK TAX.) it came to $350.
And I mean everything. 
This is everything that I got for $350:
-The Dress  /  ($99)
-The necessary dress zip bag /  ($10)  If I'm going to pay for it, I might as well store it properly.
-The underskirt slip thing to make your dress full. /  ($41.65)
-Undergarment Bra Thing / ($67.15) <-Abosolutely outrageous price on this, but it fit perfectly, like a glove, and all you girls know how difficult is to find the perfect bra, let alone something fancier like this.  I don't want to call it a corset, but it's function was pretty much to do the bra thing and smooth everything out all the way down to your waist.  I was reluctant to pay this much for this, but it was so perfect fitting. XD They got me.
-My veil. / ($58.65)
-That pretty sparkley comb thing above your veil. / ($41.65)  Once again, outrageous, for a hair comb clip, but the thing is truly gorgeous, and without it the veil doesn't look complete.  lolll.  This is how they get you.  You see how nice you look and your eyes well up with tears, and that's it....
-My shoes, / ($18.00) at Boscov's.  Nothing fancy, although they look very nice on me.  They're a simple white, heeled sandal.  I don't see the point in going all out with shoes when you're not going to see them at all under your long dress.  I needed a little bit of a heel to make me taller so I'm not tripping on the dress, lollll.  Which I might be anyway but,....walk carefully.....XD

All equals about $350.
Another plus: I was expecting to pay for all this on my own.  Which I did today.  But my dad told me he's going to give me the $350, that he's my dad and should pay for it.  I just feel weird asking my parents for money.  I feel like...a leech. XDD But I know it is tradition for the parents to pay for these things.

My dad is a little disappointed that I'm keeping my wedding so small, and not having a reception.
He keeps saying that you only get married once.
I  fully understand this.
1) I want to go the cheapest route.  Cheap is the wrong word I suppose...but I don't want to spend alot on a wedding!  A one day thing...I find it ridiculous!   2) Even if we WERE rich enough to afford a bigger thing, I would not want one.  This is how I want it, this is how I envision it being, this is how I think it'll be perfect.  I don't like receptions.  I don't like parties. XD  Especially formal ones!
I'm sticking to my guns on this.  But at least my Dad is happy now that he'll get to walk me down the aisle, instead of not being able to like if I went to the justice of the peace like I was originally going to.

Anyway, backtrack to me and my Mum dress shopping.
We went into David's Bridal and they were pretty snotty when I told them I was kind of on a $200 budget!  The front desk woman anyway.
Then she had a consultant come over to help us.   She wasn't so much snotty as much as it seemed like she was SWEATING the fact that I wanted a $200 budget, ROFL.   This girl just seemed nervous about that. hahaha.
Now I did go over budget with it ALL, but then again, I don't think I took into consideration all the other accessories and whatnot.  
My dad's jaw dropped when I told him what we paid for everything because it was so cheap.
But the consultant woman was so very helpful and nice, she was awesome.

They tried to con us into paying for alternations.  My dress is a size 12, and it's slightly loose on me. (LOL The down side to my weight loss!)  Now I shouldn't say it's loose.  We tried on another dress that was a 12 and it fit perfectly.  But when we tried on this second dress...we just knew it was THE ONE, my mom started crying rofl.  It's not loose, but you know how they want it PERFECTLY TAILORED to you.
This would've been another $55.  I said no thanks. 
It fits fine! (Not to mention see below my comments about being put on birth control, and then possible water weight gain, or something like that.  They'll take it in and then it won't fit me because of birth control weight fluctuation.)

The only thing is I literally have to halt my weight loss now so this dress fits come October.  Which is okay.  I am pretty happy with my weight now.  ESPECIALLY after seeing how good I look in dresses now, I used to cringe, but now I feel good.  Better about myself.

So yeah, My dress is BEAUTIFUL.    The girl said originally the dress was marked at $599.  Marked down to $99.
It's gorgeous.  GORGEOUS.  It has all this gorgeous beadwork and lace and oh goddd...My mom was crying.  I was ready to cry.  We came home and showed my dad, and my mum swore there were tears in his eyes.  My brother's girlfriend was at home, we showed her too, and she got teary.

I am so fucking excited now.  I seriously am getting teary NOW. lol it's going to be a BAWL fest.
I couldn't be happierrrr.

We interrupt this sugar fest with Sam's usual TMI statements.
Except tomorrow I have a gyno appointment.  My first one ever.  I am nervous and scared.  Mum told me I shouldn't be.
Since I'll finally be losing my virginity come my wedding night, I'll need to be on birth control.
This fills me with fear. XD I've read so many horrible things about it.  Weight gain.  Emotional Issues.  I know it'll be fine and it'll work itself out, and that I need to be on it because we don't need any little Rob and Sam spawn, YET  anyway.

Current Mood: excited

08:23 am - KICKIN' ASS AND TAKIN' NAMES.

I have to say I am so incredibly proud of myself right now.

My little weight loss journey is going fan-fucking-tastic and  I am kicking ass.

I started about a month ago at 176lbs, and I'm currently around 168lbs.

Having said that, I have been having a little help from iHerb.com
iHerb.com is a little website that sells all things natural, organic, whatever it is that you want to label it as, without all the crap, basically. 
Everything.  There are not words to express how much I fucking love their little business.  1) they have everything  2) free shipping depending how much you spend  3)  FAST SHIPPING.  4) Wonderful customer service. I almost sent my order to the wrong address, and I was freaking thinking there was no way to fix it.  They have an instant messenger type service, I got someone live, and they were able to help me fix it in about 2 seconds.
Anyhoo, things I've been using from there Tonalin CLA vitaminthings, and the this Hoodia. The CLA is meant to help you lose the fat while you're exercising/adjusting your diet, and the hoodia is meant to supress your hunger, I mainly use them before I eat dinner, so then I'm not hungry the rest of the night, as late night eating was one of my big, big problems.
They're not cheap, but definetely have been helping. And being that it's from iHerb I know that it's not full of all kinds of harmful shit like anyt kind of dietary thing you'd buy in department stores.
(And being that I'm pimping iHerb out so badly, lol, if anyone was thinking about ordering, don't sign up there yet, and leave me a comment.  They always send me these things to give to friends, where they'd get $5 off whatever they order if I refer new people to them.  So if you want $5 off see me. XD  They have everything.  Everything.)

Now I've noticed my belly shrinking, because I fucking examine it, and squeeze at it in the mirror, but I didn't think it was all that noticable to anyone else.

Until this week, I had at least 3 different people comment to me about it, lol.
One of my supervisors at work came up to me, very concerned rather than congradulative, "Sam, YOU'VE been losing weight."
I go, "I sure hope so, I've really been trying."
And she goes into a big thing, "Oh you don't have to you're gorgeous!" and further worried concern, and tells me that she really noticed it in my belly and in my upper arms.  Which is fucking sweet, because that's where most of my chub has always been and I have always hated BOTH.  Am starting to love both parts.

Then I had one of my regular customers, and older man say, "YOU'VE BEEN LOSING WEIGHT!"
But he was much more happier for me than my supervisor, I said, "That's a good thing right?" , and he goes "Yes! just be careful because *grabs his chin pulling at some loose skin*  I lost some and now I look like a turkey!"
Rofl, I just started giggling and assured him he did not look like a turkey.  I'm more than aware that the loose skin thing happens some times, but from what I hear, if you're young and healthy, try to build some muscle (situps, pilates whatever your game is), and you lose weight gradually instead of super quick and unheathily, you needn't worry about it that much.  I remember going to school with a kid who used to be super big.  He lost a shitload of weight super fast by, according to him,  simply not eating.  Which is totally the wrong way, because now he has gross hanging skin from his arms. XD

Anyway back on track.  Lots of comments from people about it, cue me swelling with pride and happiness.
I've been eating better, smaller portions, long walks every day (at least an hour) and it is equaling success, so I am a happy Sam.  And I just generally feel better physically it's awesome.

But the pessimistic part of me is going, what if this weight loss has nothing to do with your hard work, but those weird-ass-disease that is chilling in the back of your throat atm (see last couple entries), that I STILL don't know what it is, OH NOES what if I'm horribley sick and dying, and that is why I'm losing weight...
....Then I told myself to shut the hell up, that that's absolute nonsence. 
We're still trying to track down my Uncle the nurse to hear his opinion.  They no longer hurt, however but the bumps are still there.

But yay for successful weight loss. 
Seeing  progress gives me the iniative to keep going. ^_^

Current Mood: happy

11:01 am - Let's give this one more try.

Current Mood: optimistic